Why I Love School.
Weekends are living hell for me. I have to eat and I get questioned when I don’t.
School is my getaway.
I love learning. I can listen to teachers all day. Then at morning tea and lunch I can not eat without being questioned.
I can disappear from the world and hide in a music practice room. I can stay there and play music to my heart’s content. Until the bell rings.
My school uniform covers my ugly, fat body.
It is my getaway. My hope.
Ew ew ew.
I can’t. My mum made me eat. I have to eat. No. Is she trying to make me fat? I hate food, it’s disgusting. Urgh. I hate this.
So this morning I woke up and weighed myself; 52.7kg. I’m not too happy with that because I’ve like been that weight for a week. Urgh. Today I can skip breakfast & lunch (or just have a small lunch) because it’s a weekend but tomorrow I have to eat breakfast which sucks. Today I’m going to be very busy finishing assignments and filming projects and all that so hopefully I will ‘forget’ to eat.
Problems And Possibilities.
I have stopped eating at school. My mum makes me eat breakfast before I leave but I skip morning tea and lunch. Then I lie and tell my mum I’ve had a huge lunch and only want something small for dinner. My mum keeps on making me eat and I really want to go on a fast but it practically impossible.
Good news today,
I only ate one actual meal and it was a small bowl of noodles in clear soup. About 200 or so calories. I did binge and have some cheesy popcorn and cookies. I need to control myself better. I will do a major workout session tomorrow and hopefully that will be burnt off.
Anyway, I guess this is the start and I will keep you updated.